Desert – the verb

Dailypost – Desert

I have decided to use the daily-prompt to aid with my writer’s block. It is my luck that today’s word is a tough one – a few days ago it was false and yesterday it was glass.

Desert as a noun means a wasteland – or a waterless land. Dry and very little vegetation – or a wilderness. Desert as a verb – means abandon with the intention of never returning.   To fail someone in a time of need

Desert – the verb

I placed a call and the voice on the other end accuses “where have you been? Why has it been so long since I heard from you?” I grip the phone and anger starts to simmer. “I have been busy” I answer between clenched teeth, “The kids, work, the house, everyone wants a piece of me”. I close my eyes and bite my tongue. I want to ask the same questions “Where have you been? Why has it been so long since I heard from you?” She acts wounded and hurt as if I have deserted her. But who deserted whom?

To be in a relationship with her, there is an unwritten contract that states; “You must be the one to contact me, to reach out to me – if you do not fulfill this part of the contract then you will be guilty of desertion”.  I seethe at how unfair this contract is.  In the chaos of my own life with obligations to everyone, my children, my husband and my employer – how they all fill my day as I try to meet their needs. The hours fly by and days blend into each other. When I do have a minute and I dial the phone I am accused of putting her last.

I can’t remember the last time she made the first move – the one to reach out to me. How it would brighten my day if for once she would call and ask “Is there anything I can do, so that we can spend time together?” I believe it would bring tears to my eyes and joy to my worn out soul.

But this is our relationship and it is my duty to keep up my part of the contract.   It is the only relationship we will have – and it is better than no relationship. I will not desert her.

 

 

Do you see what I see…

I have put off Christmas for as long as I can. I only have ten days to figure out what I want to give and do. I wish this holiday came easy for me, but I do not even know where to begin. Gift giving is agonizing for me. I put too much emphasis on materialistic items to express how I feel about someone. Every year I fight the urge go buy my way into people’s hearts. Continue reading

Around and around….

I spent the last five hours trying to write. Writer’s block has a hold on me and I can’t shake it off. I have come up with every excuse imaginable to not even try. I usually draw my inspiration from being outside in my garden, but it is too cold. This morning, I got up too late and lost the “quiet time” that I know is required to do this. The noise level in my house is huge, with teenage musicians and their electric guitars and dogs barking at imaginary visitors. Continue reading