Spring has sprung, and I have come out of my winter hideout to feel the warmth of the sun. I do so with apprehension because spring is early this year. It is the middle of February and trees have budded, perennial leaves are poking up from under the mulch and daffodils are in bloom.
I wish I could save the new growth and protect it from the cold that may come. I sit on my bench and mourn for a loss that has yet to happen. As I sit, negative thoughts fill my head. In this depressed state, the thoughts multiply like the chickweed that runs rampant in my garden. I sit tense, unhappy and powerless. It is a waste of a beautiful day – the kind of day this gardener loves.
I turn my head towards the sun. I close my eyes to its glare, and I pray for a new perspective. I turn my attention to worshipping and drag my thoughts away from the bleakness. Live for today the sun tells me, for tomorrow is not guaranteed. The dark negative thoughts return to their hiding, and something else takes its place – it is hope. Tentatively at first, like the new shoots of my beloved rose, then it pushes forward as the warmth continues. It is what I find every spring when the garden comes back to life.
I don my gloves and look for something to do. I could pull the chickweed, and I kneel down to a patch growing at my feet. Before I pull the offensive weed, I notice tiny shoots of my peonies underneath the green blanket. I leave it; it will protect my tender babies. I could clean out the dead leaves that have collected in the garden, but they act as natural mulch. I decide to wheelbarrow a pile of leaves that collect at the base of my garage doors and add them to the garden. When hope replaces negativity, I realize that I might not be as powerless as I first thought. I have no way of knowing if the garden will die tomorrow, but I can do my best to tend to it – to love it and enjoy it today.